Untitled..

Im sittin here in tears.. wondering why people do the things they do? Im not going to get into anything personal, but it absolutely boggles my mind at why someone would intentionally set out to hurt someones feelings or ruin their day. My whole life I have always tried to do the right thing. I never intemntionally hurt someone.. always did what my parents told me.. never did anything harshly illegal.. and I still am shit on everyday.. I try sooo hard to be a good person... Am I doing something wrong? Right now its kind of hard to think of the good things that have happened in my life as I sit here feeling the worst I think I have ever felt. So much dissapointment and frusteration is running through my head right now that it hurts to even look at this screen and read these words of depression and sadness.

I started this paragraph 3 times over already and get a few sentences down and erase it? Why? Cause im so scared to show any true feelings.. so scared of people judging me for any reason at all. I hate people that put other people down just to make themselves feel better.. I guess thats how it works.. bah! Girls are caddy too.. I hate being a girl and getting that title.. I have never messed with anyones head.. nor have I intentionally told some chick bullshit about her man to get himm.. or that aggrivates me.. The more I try to think of ways to make myself happier the more depressed and sad I get. Theres no resolution for lifes problems.. I always wonder if anyone else is as unhappy as me? Do they just say they are unhappy? Are they more unhappy and don't know it? I have always been a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason".. I am starting to doubt that.. I try to be optimistic.. and believe the best of the people around me.. but I think it would be better now if I was just pessimistic and didn't get my hopes up.. that way, theres no let downs... Im 21 and I already feel like I have been through soo much.. but I know there is soo much more to come.. I don't know how the hell I am gonna handle it.

Bye for meow.