Untitled..

So I realized something today and it makes perfect sense for my moods. I dont know how to be happy. Either that or i'm happy and don't know it. We stride for for good things in life and once we get em for stride for better. It makes no sense but its true. We all work on getting better things in our life. No one can just "settle" for what they have. I always find myself trying to make my life better and I don't realize that it's fine right now as it is. I don't NEED a nice new car or that awesome pair of 100$ boots in the mall. I know that I should be relaxing and taking life easy. But I cant. Its really hard. I find myself always thinking. When I go to bed... I think of bills. When I wake up i think about bills. When i'm at work, i'm online looking for deals for stuff that I could buy. Im nuts! My mom thinks that im totally wacked. She says I waste a lot of money. She also thinks I waste a lot of money on my friends. Which is somewhat true. I feel bad for some people and know that they can't do nice things for themselves and I kinda help em out. I drive my friends all over the place and don't ask for gas money. Every now and then i'll pick up both the bills at a restaurant. Im always thinking of gifts to buy for people. Let's just say im horrible at saving money, but im excellent at spending it. Im really tired right now... grr on this headache.