Failures hard but success is far more dangerous. If you are successful at the wrong thing, the mix of money and praise can lock you in forever. -Annonymous
Saturday, June 21, 2003
Here I am at work again. My days off kinda sucked. The best part was the awesome dinner I had on Wednesday. I went to a friends house wednesday and she made bomb supper for us. She made cesar salad and spaghetti with the best sauce ever and these italian cookie things called pizzelle (Its not said how you spell it, its pronounced pis cell e). It was wicket dinner.
I found out some nice news tho. My sister is having a baby. Im really excited! Cause my best friend is having one and now my sister! She lives in Alberta tho and she hasnt told my mom yet. My mom really wants her to come home and if she knew she was pregnant it would be the ultimate reason to talk her into coming home. My sister has a better life out there for herself tho. She asked me to move out there but I couldn't go. I am too attached to my life here, although its nothing spectacular. I would really miss my friends. I tried to move out there 2 summers ago and then the summer before that and the winter before that. And it was a really bad experience for sure. I was a bit younger when I first went out and the only people I knew there were my dad and his bitch. And my dad worked a lot and so did she so I spent a lot of the time alone in the house or walking around the city. My dad's girlfriend is a whole other story man. She is nuts. And when i say nuts i mean she meant to live in a rubber room. My 1st time out there she was really nice and really cool to talk with. My second time there, it was like she was a completely different person. She was mean and caniving ( i dont know how to spell that word). She had yellow notes all over the house saying to close the cubbards properly or not to eat a certain food or not to go upstairs after a certain time (my room was in the basement). One thing that KILLED ME was that she took away the long distance ability on the phone. So I couldnt call any long distance numbers without an 8 digit password which i didn't know. I couldnt call my mom or my friends or anyone at home. This killed me. All I had left was the internet to be able to talk to anyone. A few days later she took that away from me. I was very very mad and confused. I had no idea why she would do that to me. I asked my dad and he had no idea why she was like this. I was extremly frusterated at her and at my dad. It got continuously worse. I couldnt eat her food and I couldnt leave the basement and every time I did something with my father she went nuts saying that I was spoiled and she needed authority and blah blah blah. Well thats when I had enough. I freaked out. I really couldnt handle it anymore. Im pretty sure that if my father wasnt there I would have killed her. I literally chased her into her bathroom and screamed at the top of my lungs. I was crying un controlably and then i took off. My dad followed me and took me out for the rest of the day. It was by far the most frusterating experience. I kept all my feelings, all my emotions about this woman inside for months. I couldnt vent to anyone because she took all my resources away. I know that if I could have spoke to my mom about this then I wouldnt have freaked out so bad. I desperatly needed someone to talk to. Someone to "vent" my problems to. My father felt the same way. However, since my dad is a wuss, nothing was ever fixed. It was all the same.. day after day after day. There was no way I could continue to live like that. So I daved up all my money and came home. Needless to say the next summer I was back out there. I really thought things would be different. But they wernt. Basically it was a repeat of the previous time. I again saved up all my money ( I was working at wal mart) and bought a plane ticket and came home. My dad begged me not to leave. He asked my if I was sure I wanted to go. I knew I couldnt stay there and he knew that too. He started crying and then I started to cry and I gave him a hug and I got on the plane. I was soooooo sad. Im getting all teary eyed now. That was the last time i've seen my dad. Its been like i think 2 years now and I miss him lots but its not even worth going for a visit. But now that my sister lives there and shes having a baby, I decided to go up for a while in feburary. She has a really good chance at having twins. One for her and one for me she says. haha... SUREEEEEEEEE... ahaha... anyways... I think i've vented enough for now. Work is calling me..
I found out some nice news tho. My sister is having a baby. Im really excited! Cause my best friend is having one and now my sister! She lives in Alberta tho and she hasnt told my mom yet. My mom really wants her to come home and if she knew she was pregnant it would be the ultimate reason to talk her into coming home. My sister has a better life out there for herself tho. She asked me to move out there but I couldn't go. I am too attached to my life here, although its nothing spectacular. I would really miss my friends. I tried to move out there 2 summers ago and then the summer before that and the winter before that. And it was a really bad experience for sure. I was a bit younger when I first went out and the only people I knew there were my dad and his bitch. And my dad worked a lot and so did she so I spent a lot of the time alone in the house or walking around the city. My dad's girlfriend is a whole other story man. She is nuts. And when i say nuts i mean she meant to live in a rubber room. My 1st time out there she was really nice and really cool to talk with. My second time there, it was like she was a completely different person. She was mean and caniving ( i dont know how to spell that word). She had yellow notes all over the house saying to close the cubbards properly or not to eat a certain food or not to go upstairs after a certain time (my room was in the basement). One thing that KILLED ME was that she took away the long distance ability on the phone. So I couldnt call any long distance numbers without an 8 digit password which i didn't know. I couldnt call my mom or my friends or anyone at home. This killed me. All I had left was the internet to be able to talk to anyone. A few days later she took that away from me. I was very very mad and confused. I had no idea why she would do that to me. I asked my dad and he had no idea why she was like this. I was extremly frusterated at her and at my dad. It got continuously worse. I couldnt eat her food and I couldnt leave the basement and every time I did something with my father she went nuts saying that I was spoiled and she needed authority and blah blah blah. Well thats when I had enough. I freaked out. I really couldnt handle it anymore. Im pretty sure that if my father wasnt there I would have killed her. I literally chased her into her bathroom and screamed at the top of my lungs. I was crying un controlably and then i took off. My dad followed me and took me out for the rest of the day. It was by far the most frusterating experience. I kept all my feelings, all my emotions about this woman inside for months. I couldnt vent to anyone because she took all my resources away. I know that if I could have spoke to my mom about this then I wouldnt have freaked out so bad. I desperatly needed someone to talk to. Someone to "vent" my problems to. My father felt the same way. However, since my dad is a wuss, nothing was ever fixed. It was all the same.. day after day after day. There was no way I could continue to live like that. So I daved up all my money and came home. Needless to say the next summer I was back out there. I really thought things would be different. But they wernt. Basically it was a repeat of the previous time. I again saved up all my money ( I was working at wal mart) and bought a plane ticket and came home. My dad begged me not to leave. He asked my if I was sure I wanted to go. I knew I couldnt stay there and he knew that too. He started crying and then I started to cry and I gave him a hug and I got on the plane. I was soooooo sad. Im getting all teary eyed now. That was the last time i've seen my dad. Its been like i think 2 years now and I miss him lots but its not even worth going for a visit. But now that my sister lives there and shes having a baby, I decided to go up for a while in feburary. She has a really good chance at having twins. One for her and one for me she says. haha... SUREEEEEEEEE... ahaha... anyways... I think i've vented enough for now. Work is calling me..
Comments:
Post a Comment
